


shiny and new.

by transphil



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Drabble, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kissing, M/M, No actual suicide but there are references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-03
Updated: 2015-10-03
Packaged: 2018-04-24 14:38:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4923442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transphil/pseuds/transphil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil kissed him around five.</p>
            </blockquote>





	shiny and new.

Phil kissed him around five.

It had been raining steadily since around one, when they had just had lunch in the tiny restaurant at the edge of the cliff, from which they overlooked the sea and watched the endless stream of rocks at the bottom of the ridge. The sun had still been shining when they made their way outside, the aftertaste of tea and sandwiches still in their mouths. The first clouds had started to appear when Dan's hand had clumsily touched Phil's, and Phil had given his arm a reassuring squeeze in return. By the time they had made it back to Phil's car, it had started raining.

Luckily for Dan, whose jumper may have been a bit too sparse for a chilly October day, the other boy had brought blankets and with his hands clasped in Phil's, he had warmed up in no time. Nevertheless, he had shivered a bit when a warm thumb stroked over the back of his wrist, and he had shivered more when a steady arm was wrapped around his waist. He had pressed his cold nose into the warm fabric of Phil's woollen jumper, and had mumbled something along the lines of “I really like you, Phil,” and that had been that.

When the last remaining cars had left the parking lot, when all the tourists had seemed to have decided that, no, the rain was not going to stop and, yeah, maybe it would be better to go home, it finally happened.

To say that the first nineteen years of Dan's life had been a build-up for that exact moment would have been too much. Though often insecure about his lack of friends or romantic interests, Dan had never felt the urgent _need_ to do something about his lack of a partner. Sure, he would have loved to know what it would feel like to kiss someone in the morning, instead of the familiar feeling of his heart sinking when he realized that he was alone and that another tedious day was about to start. Sure, he would have loved to know what it would feel like to have someone to cuddle with on the nights that he would rather kill himself than go through more of those painfully long hours of darkness filled with heartache and bitter loneliness.

Sure, he would have loved to, _ached_ for it, sometimes, but he had also known that his time would come. It had to.

So, no, it hadn't been nineteen years of build-up. But to say that the moment wasn't something special, something aggravatingly wonderful, wouldn't be quite truthful either. 

Around half past four, Phil pressed a kiss to his forehead, just below the place where Dan had once been hit by one of the boys in the year above him, when he had been thirteen.

Fifteen minutes later, Phil pressed another one on his forehead, lower this time. Dan had kissed his collarbone.

Phil kissed his lips around five.

There was a painful drag of time where the seconds slowed and even God seemed to take in a little breath of air. Right before skin met skin, milliseconds seemed to transform into hours, hours into days, and Dan felt he had been staring into Phil's eyes for so long that he would be able to paint every detail, every speck of blue, on the virgin white of a canvas. A memory flashed before his eyes, his seventeen-year-old self, crying through deserted nights, holding sacred bottles with pills in his hands and convincing himself that, _come on_ , it would be all right, if only he just held on a little longer.

Then, their lips met, and warmth enveloped him, and Phil was right there. Their lips touching, their arms brushing, their fingers clasping around each other, and he breathed a little sigh of relief when Phil moved against him, when lips opened and they were truly kissing.

Phil kissed him around five, and Dan realized that, yeah, his seventeen-year-old self had been right. It was okay. Everything was okay.

 

**Author's Note:**

> for comments contact me on [tumblr](http://rvmours.tumblr.com)


End file.
